Funny Drunk Story: Great Night!
Took Place: Nowhere

Summer had just began, and me and my lil crew decided that we needed some lq to make the night complete. so we have our friend kabba(it's a nickname) call his bro and get us some lq.

Well it just so happens that his bro is headed up to this spot in the woods where we could go and not be heard and just get wasted and have fun. so me and my friend adam split a 30 rack so we could be completely wasted. well, after we stumble around and fuck around the fire we decide we need to go to Manville Pizza, the only fuckin pizza place that's open until 4 a.m.

Well, our friend mike gets a call from an old friend who wants to go up to the spot, so kabba is like, "I'll go meet up with him" and goes with us on this quarter mile walk through the dark woods. as we walk through the woods, there is a huge ditch that we all step over, but fall into. I happen to have a torn ACL in my knee which will give out from time to time and my knee swells up and I can barely walk when it happens. so my knee blows out, but I can't feel a damn thing b/c I'm completely shitfaced.

So we all go to the park which is near where the spot is and wait for mike's friend. I work at the park during the day, but for some reason I thought it'd be hilarious to just trash it, I mean trash cans all over the place, breaking benches, just complete dickhead things. after seth arrives, me and adam start walking to the pizza place, on the way we both needed to piss, and we decide it'd once again be hilaroius to just piss on some cars. so we piss on the windshield and doors and stuff, you know, drunken funny shit. then adam decides it'd be even more funny to piss in a gas tank, so we do that 5 minutes later when we have to piss again.

We finally arive at the pizza place, and being the angry yet lovable drunks that we are, we begin to just talk shit to everyone that walks in. a few kids walk in, and adam yells, "HAHAHA, look at those fuckin homos!!!" and me, being the smartass that I am, with a blown out knee decide to talk shit too, "haha, I know right, I bet they take it up the ass those fuckin losers" I say. but the fuckers ignore us.

So after pizza we walk home, and out inot the street stumbles an old friend who I happened to take to the prom. she looks distressed, so we ask what's wrong? she tells us that her friend ben got punched in the face by a bouncer earlier in the night. so being the drunken fools that we are, we begin to laugh hysterically, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" it was fuckin awesome. so we're being loud yelling god knows what in the streets, when some neighbor lady comes out and yells at us, followed by the girl who we were talkin to's father.

We begin walking away and adam pushes me into a car and the antenna breaks. So I laugh, look back and things were a little out of focus, so I thought no one was looking, so I break the antenna off the next car I see. then the lady starts yelling at us, flipping out telling us she's gonna call the cops, so me and adam start running (well more of a stumbling, and for me with my knee all messed up, it was kind've like a stumbling skip) down the street laughing hysterically!! so adam breaks towards his house and I start running towards mine.

When I'm getting close to my house, I remember that these redneck people have a little fountain near their house that's soooo ghetto, and it has gold fish in it. so I sit there, trying to catch gold fish out of the fountain, when I see a light go on, so I start running/stumbling/skipping away again, and finally make it to my house where I go through the cellar for no reason at all, but it made sense at the time.
All in all it was a fun night full of getting wasted, pissing on cars, in cars gas tanks, trying to start fights, and breaking antennas and trying to catch goldfish. Good times, good times.

Submitted By: Craig Mack woooo
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