Dane Cook Interview
Interviewed by Raffman on 7/25/05

I'd like to personally thank Dane and his staff once again for finding time in their busy schedules to setup this incredible exclusive interview with the hilarious Dane Cook. I'd also like to extend thanks to all of our loyal readers out there who emailed me with all their questions for Dane! Dane has just recently unleashed his second comedy album entitled, "Retaliation", which you can find in stores everywhere or at his delicious personal website, www.DaneCook.com. Enjoy the interview!

Raffman: Who was your biggest comedic influence growing up as a kid? Did you have any role models in particular?

Dane Cook: Oooh, um, okay well um look. I always wanted to be a comic, and I've always admired comedians so as far as performers so I would watch anyone anybody. You know, Johnny Carson, John Ritter, Robin Williams, Steve Martin, etc. All these guys put me into a trance because I knew I wanted to be a comic, and they were doing it, so I really feel like I was inspired and wanted to emulate everybody. But as far as my act, the two people that affected my style of comedy was my mother and father, because they had polar opposite senses of humor. My mom is really like goofy, and kinda corny, silly, over the top, not afraid to put herself out there for a joke type person, while my dad is really laid back with like a cocky swagger. I really wanted to blend those two qualities because I had only seen people be only very shy, or very physical with not a lot of content; or you had to just watch them. A lot of those comics if you just listened to them, it wouldn't be interesting. So when I started 15 years ago the goal was okay, I'm a physically energetic person anyway, so how I could I take that and mold that together with the use of language and paint a verbal picture on stage, and be physical and be over the top but still be able to be kinda cool and be low key. If I can do that, then I think I can reach a lot of people.

Raffman: Well you've definately have reached a lot of people.

Dane Cook: Yeah, it's working.

Raffman: Walk me through a normal day in your life.

Dane Cook: Well I get up at the crack of noon, and at that point have a bowl of Fruit Loops; that's usually the norm. Either that or if I'm keeping my diet I'll eat some egg whites, or I'll have a little bit of oatmeal, which I despise.

Raffman: Is it flavored oatmeal at least?

Dane Cook: No, dude, no. When you're tryin to keep fit, you don't put any cinnamon in, or else you've blown it. It sucks man, the minute you go on a diet, your best friend calls you and is like, "Hey, we're having a pizza party!", or, "Dude, we're having a rib-eating contest! Get over here!" It's like, "Oh, Jesus." At that point it's like eat a little food, watch a little tube, take the dog for a walk, come back, maybe catch up online; do some "MySpace". I'm doing the "MySpace" thing constantly, yeah. You know, accepting friends, I have "new friends" every day that I'm excited to greet; "Hello, Hi!" "Click approve, c'mon in." And then after that it's pretty much just mentally thinking what I want to do on stage that night. I don't really prepare any kind of set list, but I do know that in the course of the day that I take up little "noogets" of "what-ifs" and things that I know I wanna beat around up on stage so my day really consists of trying to be observational and trying to do my job as a comic which is to come up with new possibilites for jokes.

Raffman: How often do you usually perform each week?

Dane Cook: I usually take one night, like Sunday night, off but definately get up on stage like five nights a week. At least five nights, and if I can get six then great. You know when I was in New York it was every night, and in L.A. there aren't as many comedy clubs so I tend to work more on my writing and script writing when I'm out here, but still definately get up five nights a week.

Raffman: In your mind, what's the best aspect of the comedian/celebrity lifestyle?

Dane Cook: Um, I think that it's knowing that there's people who are sitting in the world that don't even know who the fuck you are, and you're going to go out there and win them over. And uh, I just, after 15 years I can tell you so many stories of people coming up and saying, "This was my first comedy show. I didn't even really want to go, I just watch comedy on tv." Which is so different than experiencing it live, by the way. Then they're like, "Dude, I'm a fan." And when you meet that person, and you know I'm signing a ticket and they're like, "Dude this is my seventh show!", and I always write, "See you at number eight!" And dude I don't know if all comics would say that, I'm sure you've talked to a lot of comics, but we're definately unique creatures but I'm a little bit more accessible than my counterparts. You know, I tend to like meeting and greeting and talking to people about the show; I'm not so internal after my show as a lot of comics kind of are creatures of habit like that, you know they perform and then they kinda slink off into the corner with a few other comics. But I really like meeting with people and hearing people say, "That bit killed me ... cracked me up", so I can work on 'em and make them better.

Raffman: As you said you've been to a lot of college towns already, so what's your favorite one that you've performed at?

Dane Cook: Well you know, I've seen a million faces and I've rocked them all. Anyway, "Gator Growl" last year for sure, down there at the University of Florida. It was 50,000 people, and it's long-standing as the biggest pep rally in the world. A bunch of my friends, you know Dave Chappelle, Jay Leno, have done it, Dave Letterman, so when they called and requested me to do it you know it was not only the highlight of my career, it was you know me going from working in clubs in front of a couple hundred people, to performing in front of 50,000 people. That was, that takes the cake right there, it was one of my favorite shows I've ever done. I coulda stayed on stage, if they woulda allowed me I would've stayed on stage for three hours. The adrenaline was just unbelievable.

Raffman: Who was your favorite comic as a kid, and who do you love to listen to now?

Dane Cook: Well, favorite comic, as a kid I had a lot. I loved the comics, like Carlan, who really were physical up on stage, walk around, move around on stage; yell, get into it. You know Pryor, if he was talking about being at the grocery store you'd feel like you were at the grocery store. Eddie Murphy in "Delirious", I remember watching that. Again, the energy and yet the jokes were smart, and just right there. So those were a few guys who I loved watching, but I could honestly keep listening to people like Dice, Howie Mandel, Bill Cosby, who had a major impact on me because he would act stuff out but he was more subtle side and was more observational; I mean you wouldn't even see him working, it was just him hanging out talking on a bus. So I learned a lot watching him, but you know I could go on and on. These old-timers that I used to watch when I was younger of Jerry Lewis and Bill Cosby, hell any of these guys I'm a fan of the artist and the comic. And in this day and age I thought Mitch Hedberg was a big voice, who was definately like a modern day Steven Wright type guy. Freddy Soto, who unfortunately passed away with a brain anyeurism, was a guy I like to call a "100%'er", he just gave energy every time whether there were two people in the club or 200. He was the guy that really made me laugh. Harlan Williams makes me laugh, Chris Rock is always consistently funny, I mean I could go on and on.

Raffman: This next question comes from one of our readers who wants to know, "How did Mary die?"

Dane Cook: Mary died because a tire hit Mary in the fuckin face! And we all know, that it wasn't a good year for Mary. I remember seeing the clip of that woman getting it like on Real TV or something, and I knew I was going to make a bit out of it; I was talking on stage that night. One of my favorite things about comedy, is that I love corny. Most people that you and I know are corny. Most Americans have bad senses of humor. They think corny is the funniest shit, that's why when they come to a comedy show they're like, "Oh my god, you were brilliant!" Well yeah I might have a grasp on how to whip you up, but the fact is there is nothing funnier than a good, corny moment. And that line where I finally say, "That wasn't a good year for Mary." You don't get much more cornier than that, and you know what, I FUCKIN LOVE IT.

Raffman: Another reader wants to know if you've had any luck with Katie Holmes, and did Tom Cruise enjoy your impersonation?

Dane Cook: Um, Katie and I are not speaking right now. That's a great way to put it, yeah, we're not on speaking terms. And no, I have not heard from Tom Cruise, but I've heard from people around him and I'm pretty sure he saw it, and you know mockery is flattery so hopefully he really enjoyed it. I know I did!

Raffman: Another reader wants to know what the BK Lounge was like, and was it hard turning away people that didn't have enough coups?

Dane Cook: First job I ever had, Burger King. My one older brother, Darrell, he was the manager and he got me the job. Oh I hated it; I was bad at the job. I was definately not very consistent getting in there on time, and they didn't have a lot of belief in me anyway. I remember the first day I ever worked, here's my brother hiring me and when I looked at the schedule, everyone's name on the schedule was written in like pen, but mine was in pencil. I knew I was screwed. I'm like, if they already think that they can just erase me off the schedule, then this definately isn't the job for me. And that bit, was one of the first bits I ever came up with, and I went to my brother and he was just an idiot asshole. He's a great guy now, but that's where that bit came from. Oh man this is like, "Storytellers", this is awesome! I should see if I could do a comedy storytellers, because I would love to watch some of my favorite comics actually sit, do a bit, and then like every 5-10 minutes really explain it like, "I would have actually taken a crap if I saw that."

Raffman: You know that would be a very cool idea, because I know people would love to know, "Are they making these stories up or what?"

Dane Cook: Hey look, everything comes from something real but, you know as a comic we put whistles and bells on there. I was just telling a guy that there's a bit I do on the new CD, "Retaliation"; we're talking about a couple and the track's called, "Nothing Fights". It's when two people that are together, yet they hate each other but they stay together because they're both too afraid to break up with the other person, and so they end up fighting over everything. I remember I was in the supermarket and I saw this couple fighting, literally fighting over jelly, and the guy was like, "You don't even fuckin ask me what kind of jelly I like!" Then the girl is egging him on and is like, "Okay, you know what? I don't even like jelly, okay." And they're going back and forth about jelly, and I was like, "This has to be on the show." So you just pick something real that happened, and you run it through all the condiments, and you make it a bit.

Raffman: Okay this next question is kind of a personal question, well at least ..

Dane Cook: Nine and a half inches.

Raffman: Er, I meant more towards your first CD. One of my favorite parts is the bathroom bit, where you "Van-Dammed" the door. Were you a big fan of him as a kid, or are you know? How did that come into play?

Dane Cook: I love it because there's nothing like watching a good, just a bad actor. Well he had a couple of flicks where he was okay in, but there's something about those bad actors but when you watch them you see they're really trying and putting their everything into it, but they're just not good enough. So to help the bit out, with the martial arts of course, but definately it was associated to that bad acting you need to do when you're Van Damme.

Raffman: Okay last question, do you have any advice to your fans out there who are aspiring comics?

Dane Cook: Whenever I talk to guys starting out, I tell them two things. I say first of all this isn't advice, it's just the law of comedy. You need to get on stage, everywhere you can whether it's free or if you've got to drive 10 or 100 miles to get there. Never think about money, because most comics will never see any real money. It's a tough, tough life. So that's the thick of it, but then the actual advice I give is to not take advice from other comics. I mean really, trust your friends, you really have to really believe what you think is funny. I mean if I did everything that everybody told me I was supposed to do, I would suck right now. Everybody thought they knew what my act should be better than me. The fact is there are two kinds of comedians. There's a comic that thinks of funny things that you are gonna make people laugh, and it's like a novelty act. That's one kind of comic, that is the kind of comic I've always wanted to be, is what is funny to me, and how can I bring you to what I think is funny, and that's hard. That's hard work; it takes a lot longer, but that's the comic that I think most comics would like to be so I say, "I don't care how demented you are, if you think something is funny, sell it on stage because you're not like everybody else or any other comic." Then you know you're doing something right, it's just going to take a lot of years to get your point across until you can get people to notice just how embedded you are into your own bit. And I hope I'm making sense, but it takes a long time to sell a bit to put it the easy way. You want to get to the point where you can sell the bit so effortlessly on stage that people don't see how hard you're working. I mean you don't know that it took eight years of doing that bit every night, to finally get to a point that I can say it in a way that I know you'll fuckin love it, it will make you laugh, and you won't even realize it. You don't even see the tricks behind the scenes to try and make this work. So that's my advice, just be true to what you think is funny no matter how awkward or wierd you think you are. You'll clear a hump that may take five years; I mean I've watched guys that I watch for years be not funny, and get no laughs. And then one day man, they make a minimal adjustment; a slight tweak in their cadence, they learn something about tempo that they didn't do, and all those bits that they did for years that were just subpar are KILLING, are DESTROYING! So that's my advice.

Raffman: Well that's all the questions we've got for you Dane! We seriously appreciate your time; we know you're a busy man and congratulations on your next album! We look forward to reviewing it!

Dane Cook: I look forward to getting this man and putting this on my new website, so once it's completed please shoot me off an email and I'll put it up on my new website in the brand new article section.

Raffman: Thanks again Dane!

Dane Cook: Thanks man!


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