Herpes and Eyeballs Don't Mix
Written by Raffman - October 30th, 2004

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In a crazy turn of events, I got a phone call from probably the last person I'd ever expect to hear from in my life last night. Paris Hilton. Yes, the loveable socialite, Paris Hilton. She called to tell me how much she loved College Downtime, and that she always checked in on it once a week or so. I was in shock, because I always figured she was came like once a day, not once a week. During our conversation I mentioned how I was finishing up my HealthStep review for the long-awaited Random Ass Review section, and she gasped. Turns out she had just bought one a few weeks ago and it had just arrived earlier that day. So after that wierd coincidence, I asked her if she'd do an interview with me for the site, you know, to get her comments and feelings behind the HealthStep. She agreed and I asked away. I've included the entire world exclusive interview with the HealthStep review, along with a few other interviews with other superstar celebrities who have been raving about the crazy contraption, and who just happen to be hardcore College Downtime readers as well. In fact, with this new rush of celebrity interviews I've decided to dedicate an entire section on the website to house them all for you. Some other notables you'll see coming soon are interviews with Kim Jong Il, Uncle Ray, and of course, God himself. Since you don't have enough reasons to keep coming back to College Downtime, hopefully our exlusive interviews will do the trick. Hell - we get to interview God for christ's sake! What's cooler than that?

While I was watching television today I saw easily the most disturbing medical commercial ad I've ever seen. The ad talked about a new prescription medicine that treats people for Herpes of the eye. Yes, herpes of the eye. I didn't even know that this was possible in the first place, then once I thought about it I almost got sick. Although I can't remember the name of the new treatment, I do know that it's an eyedrop treatment, not pills. I'm still confused as to how someone contracts Herpes of the eye; I guess I'll have to ask that to Paris next time I interview her. I'm sure she can inform of us on the side-effects and whatnot, or at least soem of the symptoms or warning signs. That woman is just a library of information, let me tell you. She knows a little bit of everything this crazy world has to offer. Whether that's good or bad is up to you. I still can't believe that anyone in their right mind would actually purchase that woman's book, but now I'm getting off-topic. Actually, fuck that, has there been a central topic to all of this?

In local news one of our staff columnists, Steinwhe, was informed yesterday that he was awarded a huge $10,000 academic scholarship that he applied for online a couple months ago. Click here to send the Stienacologist an email and tell him congrats! In fact, the scholarship will continue to be awarded to another 200 college students who are in need of financial aid. All you have to do is fill out this form, and then just wait to hear back from them; it's as easy as that and you may just get lucky. I've applied, and so have all of my friends. All it takes is 30 seconds of your day and you're done; can it get any easier? If you're out of college, and scholarships don't apply to you (no pun intended, ha!) then click here to check out how to get iPods, Sony Wega Plasma TVs, and more absolutey free. We've found a company that's giving all these away completely free; they're looking for product testers and you get to keep the products for free once your done! Hell, who doesn't want a free iPod? I already got mine! And a brand-new Nintendo DS - Hell, they aren't even available yet and I got one! Find all the sweet deals here!.

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