Gun Safety and Whitey-Tighties
Written by Raffman - May 2nd, 2004

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Wouldn't you just love to wake up to that pretty face? I bet all the children that have slept over at this deuchebag's theme-park of a house have. This morning on the news I saw that the prosecution is bringing forth a few new items to be used as evidence in the trial: a few pairs of Jackson's whitey-tighties and a vanity license plate. Now if you seriously thought he was a boxer guy, you should be shot<. Or even worse, you should be required to spend a weekend sleeping over at Neverland with the King of Molestation himself. The vanity plate, which is basically icing on the prosecution's cake, reads, "ALL BOYS". Case closed. Hey Michael, tell Martha Stewart we said hello!

On a brighter note, a gun-saftey instructor shot himself in the thigh during one of his classes which included over 50 parents and children. Apparently he removed the magazine, then had his partner physically examine that the barrel was empty before he pulled the trigger. You know, I don't know who was a bigger moron; the guy who literally shot himself or his partner who was supposed to make sure that the barrel was empty. That decision, I'll leave up to you.

As I'm sure all of you already know, former NFL star Pat Tillman gave up a lucrative $18 million football contract to become an Army Ranger and fight for our country after the tragic events of September, 11th. This past week Rene Gonzalez, a student at the University of Massachusetts, wrote a story literally slamming Tillman and his actions in his "prestigous" school newspaper. Our great friend Ernie over at Ernie's House of Whoop Ass Dot Com (sweet fuckin name, eh?), wrote a great response that hit the nail on the coffin, as well as effectively labling Gonzalez as a Certified Deuchebag. Well done, Ernie, well done!

Onto other things, we here at College Downtime hope every single one of you have studied hard for your final exams, and if you haven't been studying well you better at least be reading this or getting obliterated somewhere. We hope all of you are enjoying your care packages, you know we are! The College Downtime staff also are conducting a study and we need your help! We are curious to find out where our viewers are working this summer, and you can let us know by posting your job in our forum! Whether you're working as an intern, caddying at a golf club, flipping burgers, or just sitting on your ass, we want to know! Whoever has the sweetest summer job will get an interview on our front page, as well as some other college shit that we can't tell you about right now!

As school ends in a few weeks, we hope that all of you keep coming back all summer long as we here at College Downtime have some delicious content coming at you from all directions. My man Hoad is back with the funniest column on the interent, Bordering on Retarded. Monday through Friday this summer you'll find a new crazy article that you'll have to see to believe. Presto is joining the staff as our new Movie/Music Critic, and you'll be seeing him once a week brining you his latest perspective on the summer's hottest, and shittiest films. For all you video game nuts out there, we've also hired a new columnist that will be reviewing all the hottest games this summer so you know where to put your hard-earned money. Those will be comin at ya' once a week as well. If you haven't done so yet, hit CTRL-D on your keyboard to bookmark College Downtime, as it will be well worth it this summer. We appreciate all your support so far, as we are rapidly growing into the biggest College Entertainment site on the Red! (Red is spanish for 'Internet') Now onto some sweet linkage! ¡Vámanos!

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