Courtney Cox on Anti-Gravity Physics
Written by Raffman - June 15th, 2004
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I'm giving this kid 10 years until she runs away and disowns her parents, and that's being optimistic. "Coco Cox" was born Sunday morning to the popular Friends star Courtney Cox and her husband, David Arquette. Why someone would name their kid Coco is beyond my comprehension, unless you're a gorilla then it'd be ideal. Actually, the name Coco, as homosexual as it is, still has to be associated with a last name which is why this just doesn't work. I can see Coco's first-grade teacher taking roll on the first day of school and reading off "Coco Cox", then probably laughing thinking she was dreaming or something. For Pete's sake, who names their kid Coco when they know damn well that their last name is slang for a piece of the male anatomy? Were they high or something? I hope they plan on home-schooling Coco; although grade school will definately toughen that girl up, that's for sure. Then come High School Coco will be kicking ass and taking names, not to mention a few police battery and assault charges.With Coco Cox out of the way did I mention that students can now take classes on Harry Potter, "Buffyology", as well as elvish language classes from The Lord of the Rings? Universities around the nation are starting new classes like these, insisting that they are more educational than entertainment-based. They feel that because Buffy incorporates military history, english, and the classics it is beneficial to the student's college education. Now I'm not the biggest Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan, so maybe I'm wrong, but I can't see that show being the basis for ANY course at a university level, no matter if it's a 100 level or a 500 level course. I was going to take "Golf" this semester as an elective, but now that I think about it, me thinks learning Elvish would be much cooler. Then I can hang out with those hot Dungeons and Dragons chicks on the 6th floor of the library every Friday night.
In today's traffic report, steer clear of I-15 in Nevada near Mesquite for a few days. If you're thinking a truck spill then you're right; if you're thinking milk or beer you're wrong. The truck driver apparently fell asleep at the wheel around 2:15 AM last week causing the truck to overturn dumping thousands of gallons of glue all over the highway. Once all the Elmer's settled the entire road was covered in 3-inches of glue which literally brought traffic to a complete and utter halt. Further reports indicated a school bus full of third-graders pulled over so that they sniff it all. Although another report stated that the school bus was going strip-club hopping so take it with a grain of salt. Or a bottle of glue, whichever you prefer.
Content is the name of this site, and boy oh boy do we have more coming. Not the average content, I'm talking Grade-A quality goodness. A few new reviews will be up shortly, along with a few long-awaited sections as well. Now you'll be able to read all of our infamous updates in all their goodness over in our Past Updates section, which houses the archives. If you haven't registered in the Forums then click here to get signed up; 150 college students have already signed up and started posting so jump on the fuckin' bandwagon already! The Video Game review section will be up today as well, sorry for the long delay; writing reviews for video games tends to take a little more time than a CD or even a new film. Again, if you have any review suggestions or comments/criticisms then register in our forums and tell us about it! Don't like a review, then let us and the whole world know! Want to write your own review on the latest movie or game? Then let us know in our forums and we'll hook your whiny ass up! Oh by the way, the Olson Twins are now officially 18 years old, since I'm sure all of you are wanting to know. Don't care? Well pin a rose on your nose then, slut.
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