Warning : Terrible Jokes Ahead
Written by Raffman - June 10th, 2004
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Pow! Bam! Kaboom! Ouch! Ouch is right, at least for poor lil' Britney Spears who has to undergo surgery to remove floating cartilage in her knee. How'd I find that out? Well she left me a voicemail this morning and mentioned it, that's how. Actually I found it on the front page of good ol' CNN.com, a side dedicated to bringing the world the most important, breaking news as fast as possible. I guess since no Coalition forces died or were injured today news planners had to resort to the next most-important news story; that Britney Spears is having surgery because of some cartilage in her knee. I bet it's all a scam to secretly get another boob job, only this time to reduce the first implant so she'll be back to normal. That way the media will have months of new stories to report about Britney's new boobs, and Britney will get what she wanted all along: more attention.You know I never thought bathrooms were really that dangerous, especially ones located in freakin' hospitals. But we are talking about Japan here where exploding toilets seem to be an everyday occurance. Smell a little sarcasm? God, I really hope so because I'm laying it on pretty thick. Apparently the 19-year old kid who sat on the wrong fuckin toilet was holding some type of canister containing a liquid which authorities think caused the explosion. Me thinks they're on the right track due to the fact that toilets just do not blow themselves up for no freakin reason. Not even if Fat Bastard himself drops a deuce the size of Nebraska; they can put up with quite a bit of shit. Pun intended.
Speaking of poo-poo, anyone else find the latest Outkast song downright annoying? I think it's called "Roses", and just writing about it makes me shudder; how anyone can enjoy that song I shall never understand. Although I don't really understand a lot of things, like why someone would want to actually pay their hard-earned or stolen money on "Soul Plane". Or why Victoria's Secret hasn't booked this hot, young model to be their new cover-model. But hey I'm only just about to graduate from my university so I wouldn't know. Best to leave those deep, paradoxing questions up to the grandest of thinkers. Who might those be you ask? I have no fucking clue, so don't barrage me with emails.
More music and movie reviews are coming every day, with the Video Game and DVD Review sections nearing completion. This week you'll be reading the latest reviews for two of the hottest games on the market, Final Fantasy XI Online and Call of Duty. Sure they've been out for a while but I just picked them up so ya'll can eat my ass with a spoon. The latest Xbox games, Chronicles of Riddick and Full Spectrum Warrior will be comin up next along with the sequel to the hottest stealth game to date, Splinter Cell: Pandora Tomorrow. Upcoming with the DVD section launch will come a plethora of different titles, most of them new with a few older ones you may already have, but hey that's life. And if you think your shit don't stink see above in the paragraph about eating my ass.
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